I know my regular posting schedule has been off. I do apologise for being inconsistent. But there's a good reason for it.
Since my sister died in September, I have had a hard time finding energy. My sister passed Sept 12, and since Sept 30, we've had foster kids. So it has been stress after stress after stress. For the past 4,5 months, whenever I get downtime, I sleep. Or else I watch Netflix in bed all day and don't change out of my jammies for 2-3 days. My house has been a mess for the past few months, and the kids are getting used to eating boxed or canned foods, because I only cook once or twice a week. I get next to nothing accomplished, unless I have external motivation (like a social worker visit).
My therapist suggested that I might be dealing with depression. I told her that was stupid, because I have Bipolar disorder, and usually depression is just a phase for a few hours/days. I talked to my husband about it, and he agreed with my therapist.
So I got more medicine, this time antidepressants. And things are starting to change. I want to get up, I want to...I don't know...be productive again. But some days it's still so hard to find the willpower to function. So, I apologise for my scattered postings.
In a lot of ways, parts of me died with my sister, and I'm just trying to figure out how to live again.